porn and hypocrites

no doubt, lotsa people love porn, and just as many hate it. but one of the goddamn stupidest reasons for hating it is "it distorts love and sex." ill give you some time to think about what kind of people usually say it.

FUCKING THINK ABOUT IT. jesus christ. how are you gonna think about it if youre busy reading this. asshole.

ok, stop thinking about it. heres the spoiler: it doesnt matter what kind of people usually say it. the point is, its a retarded reason. especially if youre an american. because here in the land of the oreo pizza, everything is a distortion. fortunately, americans arent stupid enough to just buy shitloads of things they dont need. unfortunately, when you use word play or fancy imagery or half-assed reasoning, the average americans ability to make sound decisions goes down the shitter (counter-clockwise, since were in the northern hemisphere. for you americans, northern means on top, hemisphere means half circle. and for gods sake, take that underwear off of your head.). take a moment to review the line graph.
so, yeah, fuck you, hypocrites. other things you should be against:
chick flicks. id like to argue right here and now that chick flicks affect females the same way porn affects males. sorry ladies, if youre getting on a plane at JFK in 10 minutes and your soul mate is in midtown manhattan, that fucker aint getting to the airport unless hes riding optimus prime (theres a better chance hell be riding your best friend. yee-haw!). it may be on a huge screen, but its still an hour and a half block of fantasy.
reach toothbrush. youve seen this commercial, right? the dude with the normal toothbrush tries to brush his back teeth and the brush pushes out his cheek from the inside because it doesnt bend. heres a fucking idea: before buying a new brush, learn how to brush your goddamn teeth. that has NEVER happened to me, let alone anyone else in the world, ever. if you have to make up a reason for people to buy your product, then, ta-da, your product serves no purpose, and society is worse off for having it.
burger king slider. as you can see by the above graph, burger king relies on sexy ladies to sell their new mini burger. why? because its a fucking mini burger. thats all it is. like fast food burger patties arent small enough, they introduce the slider. wanna get laid? buy this burger. we put pheramones in it. and just a touch of cialis.

fuck it, im done, i cant possibly name every product that relies on distorting reality to sell itself. but i challenge you to keep your eyes open. the world is a much funnier place when you realize how much everyone wants you to buy everything. so stop saying porn "distorts" reality. reality was distorted a long time ago. reality is fucked, and civilization is next.